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> The Stig Saga, Oh this is good
clarkma5
post Apr 26 2006, 03:16 PM
Post #1


Talkin' the talk since 2003
******

Group: Admin
Posts: 28,271
Joined: 27-August 03
From: Seattle, WA
Member No.: 27
Car: 2004 VW GTI 1.8T



WARNING: HILARITY ENSUES

It all began innocently enough with a n00b's introduction thread:
http://forums.dieselstation.com/index.php?showtopic=17799

stig259 quickly proved himself flame worthy with his ridiculous and nonsensical statements, and the thread ballooned to 4 pages in a little over an hour, basically all flames and what not. But the thing is that stig is one of those wonderful people who doesn't get sarcasm, so when I did the following:
[quote=clarkma5]Having you around is like having a cute little kid running around. You're like awwwwwwwww how cute. tongue.gif[/quote]

He responded like this:
[quote=stig259]whoa whoa whoa,play the real waltz, are you a girl?[/quote]

The stage was set...

The PMs begin...

Stig, thick though his skull was, finally started to get the clue that he wasn't liked by most members of the board. He still, however, did not understand my sarcasm, which prompted this rather heart-touchingly hilarious communiqué over PM:
[quote=stig259]dear clarkma i want to say (if you're a woman) that i ment it when i said i loved you, please tell PBB & arnge what i will say cause its very important to me,i'l never forget you 3 as close friends,the rest shame on them, turns out i'm actually 14 years old thats true.FINAL WORDS you 3 should be praised for making me happy,let gods light come your way & shine over you, i'l never forget you.
(begins to cry like a 14 year old does) i'l see you again one day...

the stig [/quote]
Which was quickly followed up with this delicious bit of trivia:
[quote=stig259](blows a kiss)
the stig

p.s do you have hotmail if so then this is my adress after you read this answer me please

mooncraftxxi@hotmail.com

dont show my adress to anyone else its between you & me ok [/quote]
So we knew we had the e-mail address of a 14 year old kid who thought I was a woman who was claiming to love me...plans started to form in the IRC chat.

If that weren't enough, he sent three more PMs. They were completely inconsequential, but they are very funny nonetheless:
[quote=stig259]one more thing are you a boy or a girl?
answer me back OK.

the stig again [/quote]
[quote=stig259]you,re a girl! do you know my hotmail adress if so please contact me tommorow OK i've got school tomorrow & its past 2.15

love the stig. [/quote]
[quote=stig259]so what do you think of me as a 14 year old who makes a good cock of himself & bans himself on his first day? :heart:

el stigio [/quote]

Enter The Amateur Porn...

It just so happens that earlier that day PBB had linked the IRC chat to a positive treasure trove of amateur porn, which contained many delightful specimens of attractive young women. It's so rare that everything comes together this well...

The first e-mail was typed up, with the name "mandy" selected to fit with the ma in clarkma.


Attached were these two pictures of "me":



Then it was just a matter of receiving his reply...

Back And Forth

Within a matter of hours we had our first reply from stig:
[quote=stig over e-mail]what you fancy me?,nobodys ever said that to me,since i look like a
half
bitten rubber chewed pencil.still thanx for the pics your... HOT! &
i've got
a beard well a tiny one...are you single? LOL

love from the stigrider or my real name which is william or willy to my
friends. ^^
[/quote]
And for whatever reason, he sent a second e-mail at the same time:
[quote=stig over e-mail]kissy kissy goodnight,i might be 14 but i'm still a loveless sap

sleeping stig

[/quote]

So we had the fish on the hook, now we just had to reel him in...

Enter the second e-mail:


Attached to this e-mail was the following image, again found by the internet-scouring PBB:


Time to wait for his reply again...and then, to drop the hammer on him.

He's Really In It Now

The next day when I checked my e-mail I got SEVEN replies from him! SEVEN!! And in those seven replies was a treasure trove of possibilities...

[quote=stig over email]thanks for cheering me up back there,i broke down into tears with the
last
message,one thing,do you like me? cause i don't think anybody said that
to
me before,another are you american!!!,i'm half japanese/half english!!!
[/quote]
[quote=stig over email]so how is it in america?
can you scan a picture of you in clothes please, just to cool off my
destruction of dieselstation into a nuclear accident, they'll never
forgive
me for my wreckless & to be fair mindless actions, i'm not really that
stupid!

the stig
[/quote]
[quote=stig over email]i just want to put my brief moment at dieselstation (& dieselstation
itself)
behind me, its hard but in the end,all i want is a proper future,where
i
won't be outdone by men (women are OK i don't mind.) who treat me as if
i'm
a looney, even though yes i feel like a abject coward,still thanks for
cheering me up i don't know what i had done without you. ^^
[/quote]
My personal favorite:
[quote=stig over email]STOP! did you lie to the others in another forum thred that your gay?
if so i'm so in love with you right now.

stigsan
[/quote]
[quote=stig over email]i've just read you're bigpengiun blog, i must say i'm very impressed!
YOU WENT TO THE KUMORICON ANIME CONVENTION!!!
do you like anime, i love it!

stig

p.s sorry for the posts
[/quote]
[quote=stig over email]your names matt and your a girl,or do you use the name matt to confuse
other
people? (like perverts)
[/quote]
[quote=stig over email]one final thing, remind me NEVERto go back to DS.
thank you,why? look at my topic...

love stig
[/quote]
We entered the final stages of the plan as we prepared the third email, which would have to lead him on just until he finished reading it and then have him open the attached image for some high-class n00b pwnage.



To which was attached this image:


All that was left now was to deal with the aftermath.

Jesus He's Stupid

I must admit I had expectations about his last reply...namely, anger at being owned. I never could've guessed how wrong I was until I opened this gem:
[quote=stig over email]who is that?
i'd recommend the love hina manga seriously funny

[/quote]
Grrrr he didn't even GET it! We went into crisis mode, wondering how we could save this whole thing, and then we got the answer...aggressive insults and crude language!

Queue e-mail #4:


So, What Happened?

I hate to be anticlimactic, but...uhh...nothing. He never responded and we left it at that. Sorry. tongue.gif
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høgh
post Feb 13 2007, 07:36 AM
Post #2


aka bitrix
****

Group: Members
Posts: 2,870
Joined: 2-July 04
From: Nibe, Denmark
Member No.: 876



Hahahahaha! That was awesome.. I can't remember this thread at all, fucking funny anyway.
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Posts in this topic
- clarkma5   The Stig Saga   Apr 26 2006, 03:16 PM
- - z0ne   surf chics = :heart: the "you're banned...   Apr 26 2006, 03:18 PM
- - fiber optic   This is one f'd up gameshow.   Apr 26 2006, 03:30 PM
- - PBB   Hopefully we hear from stig again... I miss laughi...   Apr 26 2006, 03:36 PM
- - arnge   You broke a 14 years old that is so sad .   Apr 26 2006, 03:58 PM
- - Cyclone   He probably killed himself.   Apr 26 2006, 04:08 PM
- - Windshield   When I started reading I thought clarkma violated ...   Apr 26 2006, 04:17 PM
- - nismo   HOLY SHIT. Clarkmafive, you rock.   Apr 26 2006, 04:24 PM
- - FlawlesStyle   Took you long enough...   Apr 26 2006, 04:39 PM
- - midnightdorifto   I'm an admin at SCF.net, and our newest member...   Apr 26 2006, 04:59 PM
- - BlackJack   hahahahhahahaa midnight, link?   Apr 26 2006, 05:04 PM
- - Dr. Strangelove   Holy shit, that was the most in depth n00b ownage ...   Apr 26 2006, 05:08 PM
- - midnightdorifto   QUOTE(BlackJack @ Apr 26 2006, 05:04 PM) ...   Apr 26 2006, 05:12 PM
- - BlackJack   O_o. is that forum like this one? i would like to ...   Apr 26 2006, 05:14 PM
- - Windshield   QUOTE(Dr. Strangelove @ Apr 26 2006, 09:0...   Apr 26 2006, 05:15 PM
- - clarkma5   I've only seen a little bit of Love Hina, so I...   Apr 26 2006, 05:17 PM
- - midnightdorifto   QUOTE(BlackJack @ Apr 26 2006, 05:14 PM) ...   Apr 26 2006, 05:21 PM
- - Matt_L   Bwahahahahahah Good job!!!! I can...   Apr 26 2006, 05:27 PM
- - Keitero-sama   What pwnage.   Apr 26 2006, 05:38 PM
- - Boxster17   haha..that's awesome. That's just too fun...   Apr 26 2006, 05:42 PM
- - milkmandan   clark, you're such a tramp   Apr 26 2006, 05:51 PM
- - girl and etc   ouch, you guys are harsh! i love it :heart: e...   Apr 26 2006, 05:52 PM
- - porschedream   Hahahaha! Oh my lord. That was the biggest pra...   Apr 26 2006, 06:22 PM
- - Pinecone   This is why l never make intro threads whenever I ...   Apr 26 2006, 06:26 PM
- - veritech   one of the funniest threads i've read. you m...   Apr 26 2006, 07:09 PM
- - dukenukem   QUOTE(veritech @ Apr 26 2006, 10:09 PM) o...   Apr 26 2006, 07:18 PM
- - goota   ahahahaha fucking owned. im Lollerskating right n...   Apr 26 2006, 09:11 PM
- - moethepaki   OWNED!!! One of my friends saw the pho...   Apr 27 2006, 03:30 AM
- - The Nissan 350z rocks   That kid...... jesus you probably destroyed what l...   Apr 27 2006, 05:48 AM
- - McKhaos   Clark , you are the ultimate n00b pwner . I salut...   Apr 27 2006, 06:55 AM
- - Mitlov   Damn that was mean. Funny, yes. Still harsh. St...   Apr 27 2006, 08:51 AM
- - nismo   Damn clark, you are one ugly ass girl. O___o   Apr 27 2006, 02:11 PM
- - DB9   QUOTE(midnightdorifto @ Apr 26 2006, 04:5...   Apr 27 2006, 04:55 PM
- - Clickman   Ownage in its purest form!   Apr 27 2006, 06:01 PM
- - trail_boss2   Holy shit this brings back memories. That pic of c...   Feb 13 2007, 04:38 AM
- - RockStaRRR   brilliant i'm surprised he didnt wanna cyber ...   Feb 13 2007, 06:31 AM
- - green73ta   RE: The Stig Saga   Feb 13 2007, 07:10 AM
- - Goat   LMFA O   Feb 13 2007, 07:29 AM
- - høgh   Hahahahaha! That was awesome.. I can't rem...   Feb 13 2007, 07:36 AM


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