Welcome Guest ( Log In | Register )

2 Pages V   1 2 >  
Closed TopicStart new topic
> The Stig Saga, Oh this is good
clarkma5
post Apr 26 2006, 03:16 PM
Post #1


Talkin' the talk since 2003
******

Group: Admin
Posts: 28,271
Joined: 27-August 03
From: Seattle, WA
Member No.: 27
Car: 2004 VW GTI 1.8T



WARNING: HILARITY ENSUES

It all began innocently enough with a n00b's introduction thread:
http://forums.dieselstation.com/index.php?showtopic=17799

stig259 quickly proved himself flame worthy with his ridiculous and nonsensical statements, and the thread ballooned to 4 pages in a little over an hour, basically all flames and what not. But the thing is that stig is one of those wonderful people who doesn't get sarcasm, so when I did the following:
[quote=clarkma5]Having you around is like having a cute little kid running around. You're like awwwwwwwww how cute. tongue.gif[/quote]

He responded like this:
[quote=stig259]whoa whoa whoa,play the real waltz, are you a girl?[/quote]

The stage was set...

The PMs begin...

Stig, thick though his skull was, finally started to get the clue that he wasn't liked by most members of the board. He still, however, did not understand my sarcasm, which prompted this rather heart-touchingly hilarious communiqué over PM:
[quote=stig259]dear clarkma i want to say (if you're a woman) that i ment it when i said i loved you, please tell PBB & arnge what i will say cause its very important to me,i'l never forget you 3 as close friends,the rest shame on them, turns out i'm actually 14 years old thats true.FINAL WORDS you 3 should be praised for making me happy,let gods light come your way & shine over you, i'l never forget you.
(begins to cry like a 14 year old does) i'l see you again one day...

the stig [/quote]
Which was quickly followed up with this delicious bit of trivia:
[quote=stig259](blows a kiss)
the stig

p.s do you have hotmail if so then this is my adress after you read this answer me please

mooncraftxxi@hotmail.com

dont show my adress to anyone else its between you & me ok [/quote]
So we knew we had the e-mail address of a 14 year old kid who thought I was a woman who was claiming to love me...plans started to form in the IRC chat.

If that weren't enough, he sent three more PMs. They were completely inconsequential, but they are very funny nonetheless:
[quote=stig259]one more thing are you a boy or a girl?
answer me back OK.

the stig again [/quote]
[quote=stig259]you,re a girl! do you know my hotmail adress if so please contact me tommorow OK i've got school tomorrow & its past 2.15

love the stig. [/quote]
[quote=stig259]so what do you think of me as a 14 year old who makes a good cock of himself & bans himself on his first day? :heart:

el stigio [/quote]

Enter The Amateur Porn...

It just so happens that earlier that day PBB had linked the IRC chat to a positive treasure trove of amateur porn, which contained many delightful specimens of attractive young women. It's so rare that everything comes together this well...

The first e-mail was typed up, with the name "mandy" selected to fit with the ma in clarkma.


Attached were these two pictures of "me":



Then it was just a matter of receiving his reply...

Back And Forth

Within a matter of hours we had our first reply from stig:
[quote=stig over e-mail]what you fancy me?,nobodys ever said that to me,since i look like a
half
bitten rubber chewed pencil.still thanx for the pics your... HOT! &
i've got
a beard well a tiny one...are you single? LOL

love from the stigrider or my real name which is william or willy to my
friends. ^^
[/quote]
And for whatever reason, he sent a second e-mail at the same time:
[quote=stig over e-mail]kissy kissy goodnight,i might be 14 but i'm still a loveless sap

sleeping stig

[/quote]

So we had the fish on the hook, now we just had to reel him in...

Enter the second e-mail:


Attached to this e-mail was the following image, again found by the internet-scouring PBB:


Time to wait for his reply again...and then, to drop the hammer on him.

He's Really In It Now

The next day when I checked my e-mail I got SEVEN replies from him! SEVEN!! And in those seven replies was a treasure trove of possibilities...

[quote=stig over email]thanks for cheering me up back there,i broke down into tears with the
last
message,one thing,do you like me? cause i don't think anybody said that
to
me before,another are you american!!!,i'm half japanese/half english!!!
[/quote]
[quote=stig over email]so how is it in america?
can you scan a picture of you in clothes please, just to cool off my
destruction of dieselstation into a nuclear accident, they'll never
forgive
me for my wreckless & to be fair mindless actions, i'm not really that
stupid!

the stig
[/quote]
[quote=stig over email]i just want to put my brief moment at dieselstation (& dieselstation
itself)
behind me, its hard but in the end,all i want is a proper future,where
i
won't be outdone by men (women are OK i don't mind.) who treat me as if
i'm
a looney, even though yes i feel like a abject coward,still thanks for
cheering me up i don't know what i had done without you. ^^
[/quote]
My personal favorite:
[quote=stig over email]STOP! did you lie to the others in another forum thred that your gay?
if so i'm so in love with you right now.

stigsan
[/quote]
[quote=stig over email]i've just read you're bigpengiun blog, i must say i'm very impressed!
YOU WENT TO THE KUMORICON ANIME CONVENTION!!!
do you like anime, i love it!

stig

p.s sorry for the posts
[/quote]
[quote=stig over email]your names matt and your a girl,or do you use the name matt to confuse
other
people? (like perverts)
[/quote]
[quote=stig over email]one final thing, remind me NEVERto go back to DS.
thank you,why? look at my topic...

love stig
[/quote]
We entered the final stages of the plan as we prepared the third email, which would have to lead him on just until he finished reading it and then have him open the attached image for some high-class n00b pwnage.



To which was attached this image:


All that was left now was to deal with the aftermath.

Jesus He's Stupid

I must admit I had expectations about his last reply...namely, anger at being owned. I never could've guessed how wrong I was until I opened this gem:
[quote=stig over email]who is that?
i'd recommend the love hina manga seriously funny

[/quote]
Grrrr he didn't even GET it! We went into crisis mode, wondering how we could save this whole thing, and then we got the answer...aggressive insults and crude language!

Queue e-mail #4:


So, What Happened?

I hate to be anticlimactic, but...uhh...nothing. He never responded and we left it at that. Sorry. tongue.gif
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
z0ne
post Apr 26 2006, 03:18 PM
Post #2


[J]akobi™
*****

Group: Banned
Posts: 7,563
Joined: 14-March 04
From: University of Hartford
Member No.: 651
Car: 2002 Subaru Impreza 2.5RS



surf chics = thumbs_up.gif :heart:

the "you're banned" pic is priceless.
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
fiber optic
post Apr 26 2006, 03:30 PM
Post #3


Living the dream
*****

Group: Moderators
Posts: 8,859
Joined: 27-August 03
Member No.: 28
Car: Ford F-150, Mercury Grand Marquis, Volkswagen Beetle



This is one f'd up gameshow.
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
PBB
post Apr 26 2006, 03:36 PM
Post #4


Aeternum vale
****

Group: Members
Posts: 4,810
Joined: 6-March 04
Member No.: 636



Hopefully we hear from stig again... I miss laughing uproariously at his antics already. cry.gif
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
arnge
post Apr 26 2006, 03:58 PM
Post #5


Merc. and porsche no. 1 fan
***

Group: Members
Posts: 1,847
Joined: 31-January 05
Member No.: 1,454



You broke a 14 years old sad.gif that is so sad .
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
Cyclone
post Apr 26 2006, 04:08 PM
Post #6


Mmmm that feels nice.
******

Group: Admin
Posts: 11,190
Joined: 26-August 03
From: Atlanta
Member No.: 2
Car: 2005 Mazda 3 S 2.3 Sedan



He probably killed himself.
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
Windshield
post Apr 26 2006, 04:17 PM
Post #7


I remember when 300hp was fast.
***

Group: Members
Posts: 1,286
Joined: 29-August 03
From: Queens, NY
Member No.: 41



When I started reading I thought clarkma violated oldsmoboat's law. But damnit this made my day.
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
nismo
post Apr 26 2006, 04:24 PM
Post #8


Only the Soul survives
*****

Group: Moderators
Posts: 6,580
Joined: 5-June 04
From: Florida
Member No.: 813
Car: Honda



HOLY SHIT. Clarkmafive, you rock.
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
Flaw
post Apr 26 2006, 04:39 PM
Post #9


I am de Law
****

Group: Local Moderators
Posts: 2,252
Joined: 10-July 05
From: All your bases
Member No.: 1,802



Took you long enough...tongue.gif
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
midnightdorifto
post Apr 26 2006, 04:59 PM
Post #10


Race Driver
****

Group: Members
Posts: 2,510
Joined: 10-September 04
From: Texas
Member No.: 1,037



I'm an admin at SCF.net, and our newest member is "stig55". This saga might not be over yet...
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
BlackJack
post Apr 26 2006, 05:04 PM
Post #11


Audi Fanboy; Toyota Hateboy
****

Group: Members
Posts: 4,057
Joined: 14-February 04
From: Jersey
Member No.: 560



hahahahhahahaa

midnight, link?
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
Dr. Strangelove
post Apr 26 2006, 05:08 PM
Post #12


VTEC yo!
****

Group: Members
Posts: 2,503
Joined: 3-March 06
From: Los Angeles
Member No.: 2,309
Car: 2007 Honda S2000



Holy shit, that was the most in depth n00b ownage I have ever seen. But, c'mon was that really needed? I mean Love Hina was a good show.
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
midnightdorifto
post Apr 26 2006, 05:12 PM
Post #13


Race Driver
****

Group: Members
Posts: 2,510
Joined: 10-September 04
From: Texas
Member No.: 1,037



QUOTE(BlackJack @ Apr 26 2006, 05:04 PM) *
hahahahhahahaa

midnight, link?

He hasn't posted yet, and his IP registers to Haifa, Israel.

Nevertheless...
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
BlackJack
post Apr 26 2006, 05:14 PM
Post #14


Audi Fanboy; Toyota Hateboy
****

Group: Members
Posts: 4,057
Joined: 14-February 04
From: Jersey
Member No.: 560



O_o. is that forum like this one? i would like to see any possible action over there.
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
Windshield
post Apr 26 2006, 05:15 PM
Post #15


I remember when 300hp was fast.
***

Group: Members
Posts: 1,286
Joined: 29-August 03
From: Queens, NY
Member No.: 41



QUOTE(Dr. Strangelove @ Apr 26 2006, 09:08 PM) *
Holy shit, that was the most in depth n00b ownage I have ever seen. But, c'mon was that really needed? I mean Love Hina was a good show.

IMO the first five episodes were barley tolerable, but after that crap.
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
clarkma5
post Apr 26 2006, 05:17 PM
Post #16


Talkin' the talk since 2003
******

Group: Admin
Posts: 28,271
Joined: 27-August 03
From: Seattle, WA
Member No.: 27
Car: 2004 VW GTI 1.8T



I've only seen a little bit of Love Hina, so I can't really judge it...the point was to make fun of him.
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
midnightdorifto
post Apr 26 2006, 05:21 PM
Post #17


Race Driver
****

Group: Members
Posts: 2,510
Joined: 10-September 04
From: Texas
Member No.: 1,037



QUOTE(BlackJack @ Apr 26 2006, 05:14 PM) *
O_o. is that forum like this one? i would like to see any possible action over there.

If anything happens, y'all will be the first to know.
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
Matt_L
post Apr 26 2006, 05:27 PM
Post #18


Oldschool
***

Group: Members
Posts: 1,097
Joined: 20-December 03
From: Quebec, Canada!
Member No.: 346



Bwahahahahahah Good job!!!! laugh.gif I can't beleive you did that! thumbs_up.gif
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
Keitero-sama
post Apr 26 2006, 05:38 PM
Post #19


O RLY
***

Group: Members
Posts: 1,197
Joined: 16-April 04
Member No.: 718



What pwnage.
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
Boxster17
post Apr 26 2006, 05:42 PM
Post #20


...lurking...
****

Group: Members
Posts: 2,175
Joined: 19-August 04
From: Westfield, NJ
Member No.: 999



haha..that's awesome. That's just too funny, although it would've been better if you had gotten a reply, just to see what he's thinking now. Good stuff there clarkma.
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post

2 Pages V   1 2 >
Closed TopicStart new topic

 



RSS Lo-Fi Version Time is now: 21st September 2018 - 10:13 AM